


you see me like a ufo

by latestars



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: M/M, aspiring film guy jb, expat jinyoung kinda, implied sexual content just rly short, jaebum pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 04:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8876791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latestars/pseuds/latestars
Summary: in which jaebum and jinyoung are two best friends who have very different plans after graduating college, one works through his many film internships and the other travels across Asia.





	

**Author's Note:**

> title is inspired by my favorite frank ocean song (self-control). honestly i transformed and scrapped this story into 5 different things throughout the last two months i am very tired!! but i hope you guys like it!!

When Jaebum and Jinyoung graduate from university, they travel across Europe for three months and Jaebum documents the trip with his instant camera and camcorder. It’s a bit overwhelming, being surrounded by a different culture that he’s only seen in the movies he’s watched and studied.

He doesn’t typically live like this, doesn’t like to sit back and just _enjoy_. He’s too anxious, too fixated on being on his feet or being productive so that he can accomplish what he has in mind.

 _You need to relax_ , Jinyoung says.  _You have all the time in the world_ , but Jaebum doesn’t want to wait for the world when he has so much to show and so much to do.

Even so, Jaebum gets used to waking up late with the sun shining in his face, sometimes with a bad hangover and other times with Jinyoung sprawled next to him, complaining about how cold his bed is. It isn’t that difficult after all and his best friend knows how to make him think beyond works and internships.

Time moves by quickly with how content he feels. It moves so quickly that he doesn’t even realize it’s already the end of August and the end of their long trip. Leaving feels bittersweet, but he has hundreds of photos and videos to look back on that he can’t wait to edit on his laptop. So when the two of them pack their bags to go back to Seoul, they leave, ready to move on to the next big thing. 

 

Jaebum comes back to an internship he had lined up before graduation with the intent of building up his resume. It’s unpaid and under the cinematographer of some mid-level indie movie. Naturally, it only lasts as long as the filming of the movie, but he tries to take all the experience he can get.

Jinyoung comes back with him but to the last two weeks of his apartment lease and decides that there’s nothing for him there. He dips a little into his emergency savings and gathers his things in a duffel bag to backpack to Thailand, Japan and Hong Kong for two and a half months in the spontaneous way he does. He facetimes with Jaebum almost everyday, reassuring his best friend that _yes I’m safe_ and _no I haven’t used up all my money._

Jaebum spends several remaining months of his gap year helping out at his family’s restaurant back home in Ilsan, meanwhile applying for assistant positions at different film studios. He also does a couple of short films and music videos with his hometown friends to keep his creativity going.

Jinyoung visits him several times in between his backpacking trips and helps out at Jaebum’s family restaurant for some extra cash despite insisting on doing it for free. He crashes at Jaebum’s parent’s house every time even though his own is only a couple blocks away. It’s fine because their parents have been close ever since the two of them were in high school, watching them navigate their teenage years together. And Jaebum is used to Jinyoung’s flighty tendencies anyway.

“I wish I could go with you,” Jaebum groans one night when Jinyoung is packing up his belongings for another trip to Thailand.

Jinyoung shakes his head as he stuffs his clothes into his duffel bag. “You say that and I always tell you to come.”

Jaebum leans up on his elbows against his bed and frowns, “I know but I can’t.”

Jinyoung pauses and looks at him. “Jaebum, nobody works as hard as you. You deserve a whole year to yourself but you didn’t even let yourself have that.”

Jaebum sighs before flopping back down onto his bed with his legs hanging off the edge. He doesn’t blame anyone, not even himself. He knows that as much as he wishes he could travel the world, he could never be like Jinyoung and just drop everything and go. “Yeah...there’s just so much I want to accomplish.”

Jaebum hears Jinyoung shuffle around the room followed by a soft thud gracing the floor. He feels a weight on his knees that makes him lean up on his elbows again and sees Jinyoung leaning on his legs and smiling at him, eye crinkles and all.

“And you will. You’re going to do _so_ many great things,” Jinyoung says it with so much certainty and warmth in his voice that Jaebum sits up and reach over to pat his cheek affectionately.

“You’ll be okay?” Jaebum asks, his hand lingering against Jinyoung’s cheek longer than he realizes.

Jinyoung softly nudges his hand away all cat-like as he laughs, “Of course. Who do you think I am?”

-

Jaebum lucks out when a customer who’s been frequenting his family resturant for a week turns out to be a cinematographer who has worked with some well-known producers. She is in Ilsan visiting extended relatives and has to go back to work in Seoul for the film projects she plans to work on. Jaebum begs her during her last days in Ilsan to hire him in some way and she eventually relents, admiring his determination though Jaebum thinks most people would have found him annoying.

It’s perfect. The internship this time comes with a salary, albeit a rather small one, but it’s the best opportunity and Jaebum knows he can get a discount on the rent for the apartment he leased during college. He spends the last month of his gap year working at the restaurant but he’s relieved because he finally has something to look forward to.

 

When Jaebum packs up his things to move back to Seoul, it’s summer again and Jaebum’s clothes stick to him in a way that he dislikes. But he’s eager because summer marks a year since he’s graduated and Jaebum thinks things are really progressing. His previous landlord agrees to cover his utilities for being such a clean and organized tenant in the past. Jaebum takes time to decorate his apartment with furniture from the interior design store down the street. He puts up posters of his favorite films in his room and sets up a corner where he can edit his videos on his laptop.

He facetimes with Jinyoung on his first night back in Seoul. He hasn’t seen Jinyoung in two months ever since the other left for Thailand and even though he’s used to Jinyoung’s random disappearances, there’s a loneliness that no one else can fix.

“It’s too hot over here. I look like death,” Jinyoung says through the camera but Jaebum thinks, in a sappy way, that Jinyoung still looks as handsome as ever, even with his sweaty bangs glued loosely to his forehead.

Jaebum shifts into a more comfortable position on the bed and lays on his side. “Where are you right now?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widen, “I forgot to tell you! I met this guy named Bambam. He’s Thai and he lived in Korea when he was younger. His mom owns a couple of Korean barbeque restaurants and said I can work at one, you know, until I figure things out.”

It doesn’t seem like much but it’s a lot for Jaebum to take in when he realizes while his life has been moving along, Jinyoung has been out there, expatriating his way through Asia for reasons Jaebum didn’t think existed. It’s just like Jinyoung, Jaebum thinks, to do whatever he wants without any real explanation. It dawns on him that Jinyoung means to say he won’t be coming back for a while and he can’t help but wish Jinyoung was telling him this in person.  

“Why’s he being so nice to you? I mean- how’d you meet him?” Jaebum coughs, wondering who exactly this Bambam is.

Jaebum sees Jinyoung raise an eyebrow at him through the phone. “I met him at a bar in Bangkok and he’s _so_ nice. He invited me to stay at his house which, by the way, is _huge_. Oh, and I’m teaching him Korean.”

Jaebum thanks his dimly lit room for hiding how tight his smile is and tries to nod his head casually as he listens to Jinyoung. “Oh a bar...what kind?”

Jinyoung tilts his head and stares at Jaebum curiously. “Just a bar. The people there are very nice.”

It’s as if Jaebum forgot how to speak and the silence between them becomes awkward before Jinyoung breaks out in laughter, hiding behind his palm in the cute way that he does. “You’re not jealous, are you?” Jinyoung says after his laughter dies down.

“No! Why would I be jealous?” Jaebum scoffs, trying to feign ignorance.

Jinyoung just laughs again and smiles at him through the camera, “Jaebum, you know no one could ever replace you.”

“Well I know _that_ ,” Jaebum mutters under his breath, face reddening.

“So you won’t be back for a while then?” Jaebum clears his throat as he swiftly changes the topic. He doesn’t really need to ask since he can guess the answer but when Jinyoung nods in response, Jaebum still feels a slight pang through his chest.

“I just have some things to deal with,” Jinyoung replies, looking away from the screen.

 _What things?_ Jaebum wants to ask, but he doesn’t press further, knowing that Jinyoung wouldn’t give him a clear answer.

-

Jaebum thinks absence really _does_ make the heart grow fonder, especially when you’ve never realized just how fond of someone you are. Or maybe Jaebum did but he just never wanted to acknowledge it. He misses Jinyoung, that’s nothing new, but it’s different now that he knows Jinyoung is gone for reasons he can’t figure out.

It's fact that Jinyoung is the more impulsive one while Jaebum feels the need to plan most things in his life. He’s like a free spirit, riding a wave that only he understands and Jaebum used to admire him for that. Nowadays, he just can’t shake off the feeling that Jinyoung might never come home.

But what was he expecting exactly? This is what happens when people graduate college. They start their lives and move on to greater and better things. He shouldn’t have thought Jinyoung would stay around when he himself has been so focused on building his career.

So Jaebum keeps working hard, he works hard on leaving a good impression with the film crew as the new camera production assistant. Work takes up most of his days even though his boss hasn’t asked him to do much on the set. He does little things such as adjusting the settings on the cameras but he also gets tasked with the responsibility of buying the crew donuts in the mornings. He doesn’t take offense to it, it’s one of the things he expected to happen since the filming crew is big and Jaebum is only an intern anyway.

 _This will pay off,_ he mutters to himself. _Everyone starts somewhere._

He spends most of his hours at work watching his boss as she instructs the camera crew. Very rarely does he get asked for his opinion when they’re shooting, and when he does, it doesn’t seem like his opinion gets accounted for much. Regardless, Jaebum likes the experience and thinks his boss is a great mentor. Maybe she doesn’t make him do much on set but he’s still very grateful for the opportunity to learn the trade.

Jaebum meets his boss’s son when he visits the set one day. His name is Youngjae and he’s about to start his last year of university. Youngjae keeps Jaebum company whenever he visits the set, boasting a contagious smile and loud voice. They get along pretty well since Youngjae knows a couple things about films too, what with his mom teaching him a thing or two about it when he was growing up.

 

When Jaebum finally sees Jinyoung at the airport, it's the start of August and he pulls Jinyoung into a tight hug that Jinyoung has to wriggle himself out of. In three months, Jinyoung looks tanner and his bangs have grown to the point where they curl slightly over his eyebrows.  

They drop by the market on their way to Jaebum’s apartment and buy some ingredients for kimchi stew which is the only real edible thing Jaebum says he can make. He isn’t the best cook - really, it’s good enough for himself - but Jinyoung insists on having homemade Korean food and Jaebum isn’t one to ever deny him anything.

After dinner, they watch some netflix on his couch and it reminds him of college when they used to spend most of their time together. It’s funny how much things can change without anyone even trying. Jaebum sneaks a glance at Jinyoung sitting beside him. He looks relaxed and focused on what’s playing on the screen, but Jaebum spends too much time wondering what he’s really thinking.

“Jinyoung ah...have you thought about visiting your parents again?” Jaebum asks carefully as he observes Jinyoung’s reaction.

“Not really,” Jinyoung replies, keeping his eyes on the television.

It’s the same answer he got last time, but he’s uneasy because he is quite confident Jinyoung’s parents would be want to help him. “Jinyoung…”

Jinyoung still doesn’t budge. “I told you. My parents think I’m working at that magazine. They’ll know that I’m lying if they see me.” Jaebum purses his lips at this, knowing he should probably let it go but there’s something in the back of his mind that tells him to continue.  

“I think they’d understand if you told them the truth.”

Jinyoung looks down with an expression on his face that Jaebum can’t place, “They won’t. Not the way you do.”

Jaebum tries to hide the confusion in his face because no, he hasn’t understood the motivation behind Jinyoung’s actions over the past months and he still doesn’t understand what’s been eating at Jinyoung or if anything actually _is_. But he doesn’t address it and figures, it probably isn’t what Jinyoung wants to hear right now.

“Come on, your parents love you. They’ve always supported you,” Jaebum says instead and Jinyoung finally turns to look at him.

“Exactly. They did _so_ much for me. They got me a private tutor, let me major in journalism, let me take a whole year off and  _look_ at me. This is how I repay them?”  

Jaebum stares back in disbelief. It’s more proof that he can’t tell what Jinyoung is truly thinking sometimes and it scares him, the way Jinyoung can get lost in his own thoughts. “Jinyoung...I don’t get it. There’s nothing wrong with you,” He mutters, inching closer to Jinyoung as the other stares down at his lap.

Jinyoung closes his mouth just as soon as he opens it. His mouth looks tight from Jaebum’s angle and his eyes are as unreadable as always. It changes when Jinyoung looks back up at him and puts on a slight smile that Jaebum wishes he didn’t know was fake.

“Listen, don’t worry about me, okay?” He nudges Jaebum’s knee with his own.

“That’s impossible,” Jaebum replies, looking very concerned.

Jinyoung sighs and leans his head back against the couch, closing his eyes. “Please, I just want to appreciate this before I leave.”

And just like that, Jaebum is left with no answers again, so he lets his head fall back against the couch in resignation and stays quiet.

 

Jinyoung falls asleep on his shoulder towards the end of the movie. It’s late so Jaebum, in his noble attempt to not wake Jinyoung up, scoops him up in his arms and carries him to his bedroom. Jinyoung doesn’t weigh that much lighter than he does and Jaebum almost trips on his way there. But his place is small and the bedroom is close, so he doesn’t struggle for too long.

He lays Jinyoung on his bed and smiles when Jinyoung, with his eyes kept shut, groggily pats around for the blanket and covers himself with it. He looks cute snuggled up in Jaebum’s bed, and Jaebum wonders what he is dreaming about that’s got him looking so peaceful.

He walks over to his closet to take out a blanket and pillow, trying his best to stay quiet. He’s about to turn off the light when he hears Jinyoung mumbling against his pillow.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Jaebum whispers after turning around.

Jinyoung turns his face away from the pillow and opens an eye, “Where are you going?”

“To sleep,” He replies, holding up the blanket in his hand. "It's late."

“I know,” Jinyoung sighs before moving to the other side of the bed and gestures at the empty spot next to him, “so come to bed.”

Jaebum just stares back. “The couch is comfortable.”

Jinyoung groans and opens both eyes, “No, it’s not. It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before.”

“Yeah, but it’s colder in Norway than it is here,” Jaebum says, thinking of the times Jinyoung climbed into his bed in the wee hours of the night during their graduation trip.

“Come on, don’t leave me alone,” Jinyoung almost whines and Jaebum sighs, dropping the blanket in his hands onto the chair before reluctantly getting into the bed. Jaebum doesn’t understand how Jinyoung manages to travel on his own with how clingy he gets, but he figures that Jinyoung has probably made more friends on his trips than he himself has made in the past year.

Jaebum makes a mental note of the distance between them and sneaks a peek at Jinyoung, who is already shutting his eyes and falling asleep as if sleeping with your best friend is the most normal thing to do. He closes his eyes too, telling himself that one night isn’t a big deal. Just one night...

 

Jaebum wakes up to an empty bed and the smell of fried eggs the next morning, making him sit up in a daze. If he isn’t in a dream, then the combination can only mean one thing.

_Jinyoung is cooking?_

He pulls on a sweater and grabs the polaroid camera on his desk before tip toeing to the kitchen.

It’s strange but it’s real, and Jaebum’s mouth slacks when he sees Jinyoung stirring what looks to be a pot of soybean paste soup. Jaebum quickly lifts the polaroid camera and snaps a photo of him to commemorate the rare occassion.

Jinyoung inhales sharply and turns around, clutching his chest, “Don’t do that!”

Jaebum pulls the polaroid out of his camera and shakes it. “You cooked,” He says in utter disbelief.

“I learned a couple of things,” Jinyoung shrugs before turning back around to pour the soup into two bowls. Jinyoung never cooks, he never cooked, never even bothered helping Jaebum when he cooked.

Jaebum feels a sense of dread creep up on him and quickly moves next to Jinyoung, glancing at the plate of fried eggs and bowls of soup on the countertop.

Somehow, It all looks so good. Jaebum was expecting a mess on his countertops and a burnt pot on the stove. 

“Tell me, why did I cook last night?” Jaebum stares accusingly at his best friend.

Jinyoung grabs the two bowls of soup and makes his way to the small dining table with Jaebum following after him, holding the plate of eggs in his hands.

“I missed homemade food,” Jinyoung says shortly as he puts the bowls on the table. He hands Jaebum a bowl of rice and sits across from him.

“But this-”

“Oops, I missed _your_ homemade food,” Jinyoung leans on an elbow and watches Jaebum wake up from his daze and grab an egg from the plate.

Jaebum digs in, suddenly realizing how hungry he is. Everything tastes so good and he can’t believe Jinyoung is the one who cooked it.

Jinyoung grins at the sight of Jaebum shoveling food into his mouth and starts eating his soup.  

“Alright, what else are you hiding from me?” Jaebum asks, voice slightly muffled by the rice in his mouth.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes, “I’m not hiding anything. You’re the one taking creepy photos of me.”

Jaebum swallows the food in his mouth. “They’re _candids,_ not creepy. Besides, I need to take as many photos as I can while you’re still here. Who knows when you’ll be back again.”

“Same difference,” Jinyoung replies, but Jaebum ignores him, glancing at the polaroid and liking the sight of Jinyoung cooking in his home far too much than what is considered normal.

-

Jinyoung leaves several days later with a promise that he’ll visit sooner in the future but Jaebum doesn’t plan on holding him to it. He figures he should start acting like the supportive friend Jinyoung thinks he is. If Jinyoung needs Jaebum to trust him, then he’ll wait until Jinyoung is ready to tell him the truth, it’s all he can do at this point.

The film shooting ends and he gets a week off before he’s on another set for a different film, still led by his boss and some other familiar faces from the previous shooting. It’s a smaller project and doesn’t take as much time to shoot, but it seems his boss trusts him more now and asks him to assist the camera crew, making him build the cameras in the mornings and take them apart at the end of each shooting. He’s thankful his boss is actually taking him on her projects but he’s also worried he won’t live up to her expectations.

It helps that Youngjae is often there to crack jokes and eat with him during his lunch breaks. Jaebum hates small talk and doesn’t make friends as easily as Jinyoung does so he’s grateful that he and Youngjae were able to become close so quickly.

“Hyung, can I ask you something?” Youngjae says one day during one of Jaebum’s lunch breaks. Jaebum, with a mouth full of food, looks at him and nods for him to continue.

“Why this? Why film? You know...why not photography or something else?”

Jaebum thinks for a while as he thoroughly chews his food. “I don’t have a great answer to that.”

“It doesn’t have to be. I’m just curious,” Youngjae replies with a shrug.

Jaebum puts down his sandwich and thinks again. A corner of his mouth quirks when he remembers the first time he saw one of his favorite movies. “There’s this scene in a movie that I first watched when I was in high school. An American movie..” Youngjae nods slightly, urging him to continue.

“The main character was in this beach house and had this really emotional scene. The house was breaking apart and the ocean water flooded around him. It was crazy. The lighting, the angles, the way it was all framed. I don’t know...it just left a huge impression on me. I wanted to be able to make people feel something like that too.” Jaebum remembered that after watching that movie, he wanted to learn everything he could about film. Nothing else came close to it.

Except, he’d be lying if he said he never wondered if photography was the way to go. It was the easier path and also would have allowed him more creative control compared to film, at least in the beginning. But being on film sets like this reminds him that there’s nothing he could choose over cinematography.

“This might sound weird but you remind me of my mom,” Youngjae says with a sheepish laugh.

Jaebum raises an eyebrow at him but then pauses and shakes it off. “No, i think that sounds about right,” He replies with an amused grin that makes Youngjae laugh again.

-

Jinyoung catches him off guard and despite knowing each other all these years, Jaebum still can’t keep up with him.

One thing is that Jinyoung actually starts visiting him more often. He doesn’t even make Jaebum wait three months anymore.

But Jinyoung does it without telling him (that itself isn’t a surprise), and when Jaebum sees a lump in his bed, he almost falls flat on his face from the unannounced and sudden visit. He doesn’t even know how Jinyoung got into his house, though he’d find out later on that Jinyoung kept the spare key he gave him during their third year when Jaebum realized it was more convenient to give him a spare key instead of constantly having to open the door for him.

 _He still could’ve told me_ , Jaebum thinks as he observes Jinyoung’s sleeping figure curled up in his blanket. He’s wearing Jaebum’s hoodie that’s far too big for Jaebum himself and looks like he’s being swallowed up by it. But he looks cute like always and Jaebum grabs his polaroid camera from his desk to snap a (not creepy) photo of his sleeping best friend. The loud shutter sound wakes Jinyoung up, making him yawn and stretch himself across the bed.

“You’re being creepy again,” Jinyoung mutters as he slowly opens his eyes and stares at Jaebum.

“Says the one who broke into my house and is wearing my clothes,” Jaebum retorts and places the camera and polaroid back onto his desk.

Jinyoung sits up. “It’s not breaking in if I have a key.”

Jaebum shrugs off his jacket and hangs it on his chair before throwing himself onto the bed, falling face down. The bed sheets feel cool against his skin and he relaxes his muscles when Jinyoung starts massaging his shoulders.

“How was work?” Jaebum hears him ask.

Jaebum turns to look at him, “Same old.” Work isn’t _that_ exhausting, but he does spend the majority of his time on standby. He only ever sits during lunch or the small breaks the crew gets from shooting.

“You’re tense,” Jinyoung says and moves closer for a better angle.

Jaebum nods silently, eyes falling shut.

“Go nap, I’ll be here.” Jinyoung whispers, and so he does, letting himself drift into sleep under the warmth of Jinyoung’s touch.

 

It becomes an odd routine between them with Jaebum coming home every now and then to Jinyoung sleeping on his bed. But Jaebum doesn’t complain, he likes knowing that Jinyoung chose his apartment as the place he can always come back to.

The thing is though, that Jinyoung likes his bed a little too much. It gets to the point where they’re sharing the bed every time Jinyoung visits. Jinyoung hates letting him sleep on the couch and insists that they just share since the bed is pretty big and again, it’s not like they’ve never shared a bed before. But Jaebum knows deep down, that the line between him and Jinyoung blurred a long, long, long time ago.

It becomes more prominent and difficult to deal with. Jaebum wakes up one morning with his arm wrapped around Jinyoung’s waist and his chest pressed against Jinyoung’s back. He didn’t mean to and he wonders how it doesn’t happen more with how often they’ve slept together by now. He’s suddenly very conscious of the rise and dip of Jinyoung’s chest and the fact that his shampoo smells infinitely better in Jinyoung’s hair. His heart flutters against his chest and he quietly pulls away before Jinyoung can wake up to find out.

But as Jaebum lets go of Jinyoung and scoots away from him, Jinyoung slowly turns over, apparently having woken up before he did. What surprises him though is the rare blush spreading  over Jinyoung’s cheeks that makes Jaebum feel even more embarrassed.

“Sorry, I don’t know what happened,” Jaebum mutters sheepishly, worried it'll make things awkward.

“Bad dream?” Jinyoung mumbles, unable to look him in his eyes.

 _Yeah that must be it,_ he thinks and bites back a smile, too used to a carefree and confident Jinyoung than a shy Jinyoung who can’t even look at him properly.

 

On other days, Jaebum comes home to Jinyoung, on his bed again, but he’s reading a book or writing in a journal that Jaebum didn’t even know he had. Honestly, he doesn’t know why Jinyoung likes his bed so much but he doesn’t ask about it. On those days, Jaebum will sit at his desk and edit some videos that he had long forgotten about.

Sometimes, Jaebum thinks Jinyoung has decided to call it quits, why else has he started visiting more often? Jaebum doesn’t even know how much money he’s saved up to be doing all of this. But he pushes those thoughts out of his head whenever Jinyoung talks about the next country he’s going to see.

“Taiwan? Since when did you want to go to Taiwan?” Jaebum stares at him in confusion, pausing his typing on his laptop.

“I never _really_ wanted to go. Okay, you remember Jackson right?” Jinyoung says, leaning against the bed frame.

“Uh...from Hong Kong?” Jaebum remembers only vaguely because Jinyoung has met so many people on his trips Jaebum can’t keep track of them anymore.

“Yeah, well he’s going to Taiwan to visit his boyfriend. Marcus...or something like that I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember a lot of things,” Jaebum teases and Jinyoung throws a pillow at him, which he catches with a smug grin and sets on his lap.

“Anyway, he invited me to go with him. So I’m going to Taiwan instead of Hong Kong.”

Jaebum nods and goes back to typing on his laptop. He’s fixing up his resume since his current internship ends in a month. There’s something oddly satisfying about adding more experiences and job titles to a resume. He already feels like he’s done a lot, but he knows there’s still so much he needs to learn.

Jaebum pauses his typing again and looks at Jinyoung, “Hey...if you ever need some extra cash, you know you could always ask me.”

 _Let me take care of you_ is what he means.

“I know,” Jinyoung says without bothering to look up at him. 

“Just reminding you,” Jaebum mumbles  before returning to his typing, missing the small look Jinyoung gives him after he turns around.

-

Jaebum is talking to one of the lighting crew members at work when his boss comes over and asks to speak with him privately. He wonders what she needs to tell him as he follows her to her office because she has never asked to speak with him alone before.

They sit across from each other with her desk separating them and Jaebum can feel his palms sweat nervously as he waits for her to speak.

“You know, you remind me of myself when I was your age,” She says, putting her phone down to look at him.

 _So I’ve been told,_ he thinks sarcastically but doesn’t deny it himself. She is his boss after all.

“Oh, how so?” He says instead.

She takes a deep breath and taps her chin. “Well, you’re certainly ambitious. You wouldn’t stop bothering me until I agreed to hire you.” Jaebum gives a sheepish smile at that, still feeling embarrassed for how desperately he acted when he first learned of her profession.

“You do your work quietly without complaining even if things aren’t what you expected to be,” She continues, giving him a knowing look.

“I’m just thankful for the opportunity,” He smiles politely, unsure how to respond to the string of compliments.  

“Yes, well, speaking of opportunities, I have one for you.”

Jaebum’s eyes widen and his ears perk up as he stares at her, trying his best to remain calm at the prospect of another job position.

“I have a colleague who is the cinematographer for a very important movie coming up,” She explains as Jaebum listens intently. “He asked me if I knew anyone who could assist him on the set and I mentioned you.”

Jaebum opens his mouth to thank her but stops when his boss lifts up a hand to continue speaking, “If you accept this position, you’d be doing what you’re already doing here except several other added responsibilities.”

“I don’t know how to express my gratitude properly but thank you for recommending me,” Jaebum says, feeling relieved that he doesn’t need to go on the hunt for another job.

 _The entertainment business really is all about connections_ , he thinks.

“Nonsense, you did it yourself. Anyway, there’s one more thing,” She says to which Jaebum nods politely. “This film is a Hollywood movie, so if you decide to take this, you will have to move to Los Angeles. The shooting for this film will take longer than the ones you’ve been interning for.”

His eyes widen even more than possible and his heart starts racing as he processes the information.

Hollywood. Hollywood as in the  _entertainment capital_ _Hollywood._  

Never in his life did he think he’d have to chance to work there and now he’s seconds away from making that dream a reality. It feels like it was just yesterday that he bought his first camera and now he’s talking about moving halfway across the world.

“Jaebum?”

Snapped out of his daze, Jaebum refocuses his attention on his boss. “I’m sorry, yes?”

“I asked if you will accept the offer.”

“Oh, yes. Of course,” He enthused. There is no way he would pass on this opportunity.

“Wonderful! Filming starts in three weeks, so I’m relieving you of your duties here. Better start apartment searching.” She stands up and puts out her hand.

Jaebum gets up as well and shakes her hand, “Thank you so much for everything. I won’t let you down.” He bows to her a couple more times before exiting her office, unable to stop the huge smile on his face.

 

Jaebum lays on his bed after showering, staring at the ceiling and playing the day’s events in his head.

When he returned to the set that day, Youngjae was already waiting for him with a big grin on his face. It turned out that his mom already told him the night before about the offer and told him to stay quiet despite Youngjae wanting to call him and tell him about the news himself.

The best part though was finding out that Youngjae is studying abroad in Los Angeles for the upcoming semester and needs a roommate for his apartment. It saves both of them some money but Jaebum doesn’t know how Youngjae forgot to tell him he was going to study abroad this whole time.

 

But as Jaebum slowly calms down from the huge whirlwind of emotions, he has a sinking realization about what it really means for him to leave.

He won’t have a place for Jinyoung to come back to whenever Jinyoung misses home. He won’t be able to see Jinyoung for five months. Maybe even longer if he’s able to meet the right people and land another film. It _is_ the entertainment capitol after all.

The time zones will be on opposite ends and the distance...well, everyone knows what distance can do to people. They’ve been doing well this whole time, but Los Angeles is so much further from Seoul than any of these other countries Jinyoung has been visiting.

What’s he supposed to do now? He doesn’t know how he is going to break the news to Jinyoung.

So he doesn’t, even when they talk about his job during their video calls. Jaebum almost slips up a couple of times, biting his tongue when he does so. He doesn’t know why he’s making it a bigger deal than it actually is. They can still talk on the phone and facetime the way they do now.

 _Oh please, you know why,_ he tells himself.

He forgets all about telling Jinyoung in his rush to get ready for the move. He gets too overwhelmed with all the things he needs to do, packing up the stuff he doesn’t need in boxes and shipping them to his parent’s house in Ilsan. He changes his bank account and gets his cellphone unlocked for Los Angeles.

His new boss wants him to be in Los Angeles several days earlier than the start of filming so that he can get used to the new environment and time change. He doesn’t even know when he got so many things but his apartment becomes a mess from all the boxes he has.

 

A week before his flight to Los Angeles, he asks Jinyoung to visit with plans to tell him about the upcoming move. But he waits, pushing it for a couple days until he realizes that time is ticking and his flight is only four days away. It’s only when Jinyoung sees the boxes in the hallway closet that Jaebum is forced to deal with the truth.

“What’s with the boxes? Are you donating your stuff?” Jinyoung asks, leaning against the doorway.

Jaebum glances at him from where he’s sitting. “Yeah, just some old stuff I don’t need anymore.” A lie, of course.

“Do you need help?” Jinyoung asks. “We can drop them off tomorrow.”

Jaebum taps his fingers on his desk and pretends to contemplate his offer.

 _You’re out of time_ is all he can think.

Sighing, he gets up to sit on the edge of his bed and pats the empty spot next to him, “Come here, I need to tell you something.”

Jinyoung walks over slowly with a curious look on his face and sits by him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Great, actually,” Jaebum smiles at him. “I, uh, got a job offer for this movie coming up.”

“What! That’s great. Looks like you don’t have to hunt for another job after all,” Jinyoung says, smiling proudly at him.

“Yeah, my boss has a colleague who was looking for a camera assistant and she mentioned me.” Jaebum pauses and takes a deep breath. “It’s a pretty big film….and it’s in Los Angeles.”

Jaebum watches Jinyoung’s eyes widen like they’re about to pop out of his head. He lets out a yelp as Jinyoung throws himself on him into a hug, making them fall flat against the bed.  

Jinyoung pushes himself up on his hands, “Los Angeles?! Is it a Hollywood movie?” Jaebum can feel his face heat up at their position and silently nods. “Oh my god that’s crazy!”

Jaebum struggles under his weight, “Jinyoung, can you get off me? You’re hurting my stomach.”

“Oh right,” Jinyoung laughs as he lifts himself off Jaebum and crosses his legs on the bed. Jinyoung looks even happier than he did when his boss first offered him the job.

“There’s one more thing,” He says and Jinyoung nods for him to continue. “The shooting will take five months…and I leave in four days.”

It hurts, seeing how instantly Jinyoung’s smile fades away. Jaebum runs his hand through his hair in frustration, feeling extremely guilty for not telling Jinyoung any sooner.

“I’m sorry Jinyoung. I didn’t know how to tell you,” Jaebum sighs as Jinyoung avoids eye contact.

“Why not?” Jinyoung asks.

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to be so far away from you and I guess telling you would’ve made me face the reality a lot sooner,” Jaebum confesses. It sounds stupider hearing it from his own mouth and Jinyoung confirms that with the tone in his voice.  

“You still should’ve told me,” Jinyoung is staring at him now, but he doesn’t look mad, just disappointed.

 “I know. I’m sorry,” He says for the nth time. “And now you won’t have a place to come back to anymore either.”

Jinyoung finally smiles a little, letting him know they’re okay. “Well, don’t worry about _that_. If it weren’t for you then I wouldn’t have visited Seoul so much. Maybe never.”

“Really?” Jaebum asks, at odds with how he should feel about it.

Jinyoung nods and reaches for his hand, squeezing it gently. “You know, five months isn’t too bad.”

“The thing is...it’s Hollywood. I’m going to make some connections and try to land more projects so it might be longer than five months,” Jaebum explains. Jinyoung is quiet for a moment and Jaebum has never wished so much to know what he’s thinking.

“Right of course,” he finally says and looks in his eyes. “I knew you could do it. I’m so proud of you.” He leans over and wraps Jaebum into another warm hug.

“Thanks Jinyoung,” Jaebum mumbles as he melts into the embrace, wishing there was some way Jinyoung could go with him.

-

Jinyoung spends the next day helping Jaebum pack and get rid of his furniture. He sells them to a vintage shop that allows him to drop the furniture off when Jaebum leaves Korea.

Jaebum buys new packs of films for his polaroid camera and cleans out the memory card for his camcorder. He _is_ going to Los Angeles after all and wants to send photos and videos of his adventures to his family and friends.

The two of them enjoy each other’s company as much as they can, eating Jaebum’s favorite foods and marathoning his favorite films.

Leaving, once again, feels bittersweet. It always does when it involves Jinyoung.

Jaebum tries to hide it with loose grins and lame jokes that Jinyoung doesn’t pretend to laugh at. He knows Jinyoung is feeling the same way, that’s how their relationship worked anyway, too many things left unspoken.

 

 

It’s his last night in Korea when Jaebum is on the bed with his eyes wide open, unable to sleep from the mix of emotions he feels. He turns to lay on his side and grabs his phone from the desk to check the time.

_1:15AM_

He sighs and flips on his back, staring at the ceiling. In twelve hours, he’ll be on a plane to a city he had only ever dreamed about. In twelve hours, he’ll be saying goodbye.   

There's a tension between him and Jinyoung that he doesn't know how to deal with. Jaebum only ever knew how to handle work, films, and well more work. His life was simple and revolved around few things, but he starts wondering, that maybe some things happen inevitably. 

The weight next to him shifts and Jaebum looks over to see Jinyoung looking back at him with eyes as awake as his.

“I thought you were asleep,” Jaebum murmurs.

“Can’t,” Jinyoung whispers, laying on his side.

“Why not?” Jaebum asks and Jinyoung shrugs. “Go to sleep.”

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything back. There's something in his eyes that makes Jaebum bite the inside of his cheeks nervously.

Jinyoung moves slowly, inching towards Jaebum until he’s only centimeters away from Jaebum’s face. They are so close, Jaebum can count the individual eyelashes on Jinyoung’s eyes.

Jaebum thinks his heart is about to leap out of his chest. “W-what are you doing?”  

“Have I told you how much I’m going to miss you?” Jinyoung whispers and Jaebum can feel his breath on his own lips.

Jaebum shakes his head nervously, mouth drying.  

“Can I show you?” Jinyoung asks, biting his lower lip.

Jaebum stares at his lips. “Yes,” he breathes out - it comes out shakily - and closes his eyes when Jinyoung leans in.

 

Jinyoung tastes like fresh mint, hot air, and a little bit of eternity. Jaebum isn’t surprised that Jinyoung, with all his quirks and faults, is the one to close that last gap between them after all.  

And he realizes as he kisses back, that with Jinyoung, it was never a matter of _what if_ or _could we_ , it was always a matter of time, a matter of _when._

Jaebum rolls them over without breaking their kiss and parts his lips for him, tightening his grip on Jinyoung’s hips when Jinyoung moans against his mouth. He pulls away and trails kisses down Jinyoung’s neck to his collarbone.

“I’m an idiot,” Jaebum mumbles against his skin.

“We both are,” Jinyoung whispers, carding his fingers through Jaebum’s hair.

Jinyoung pulls him back and kisses him again like it’s the last time he’ll ever see him, _because_ it’s the last time he’ll see him, at least for a long time. Jaebum kisses back with as much fervor, biting and bruising his lips until he sees red through the darkness.

 

That night, they make up for years of unspoken words and thoughts, things that should have been done earlier. Jaebum bruises Jinyoung’s neck and hips, and Jinyoung leaves marks on his back that dull hours later.

It was easy, they both know that. Being with each other felt, _feels,_ natural.

He wakes up in the morning with his arm wrapped around Jinyoung’s waist and his chest pressed against Jaebum’s back, but this time, he doesn’t pull away. He presses a kiss against Jinyoung’s nape and soothingly rubs the area around Jinyoung’s lower back. 

Jaebum decides that there's nothing better than this. Nothing better than holding Jinyoung in his arms, and he wonders if Jinyoung also knew all along.

Jinyoung wakes with a soft moan that makes Jaebum smile against the back of his neck. He turns around and wraps his arms under Jaebum’s shoulders before kissing him on the lips.

“Morning,” Jinyoung whispers with a loose smile.

"Morning," He replies, brushing the hair out of Jinyoung's face. He always knew how ethereal Jinyoung looked in the morning, but today, it's more apparent. How does Jinyoung already look so perfect? 

Jaebum sighs, “Leaving just got a lot harder.”

“Do you regret it?” Jinyoung asks, trailing his fingers up and down his back. 

“Of course not.” He caresses Jinyoung’s cheek with his thumb.

Jinyoung smiles, “Good."

 

It doesn’t change the fact that leaving _is,_ indeed, a lot harder than it was before.

He stands in front of the security check-in with Jinyoung in his arms but neither of them dare to shed any tears. If there’s anything that they learned through their years together, it’s that they know how to support one another and be there for each other. 

“This is weird, isn’t it?” Jaebum asks and Jinyoung responds with a questioning look. “I’m usually the one seeing you off.”

Jinyoung laughs a little in the way only he can during difficult times. He has always been the tougher one of the two of them. 

“Funny how things work,” Jinyoung says with a slight smile.

“Yeah,” Jaebum sighs, rubbing the sides of his arms.

“Call me when you land?” Jinyoung asks.

Jaebum nods, “Set an alarm.”

“I will,” Jinyoung says before pulling him in for one last kiss.

“You’ll be okay?” Jaebum mutters when he pulls away, patting his cheek affectionately like he did so long ago.

Jinyoung laughs again, one that sounds airier than before and holds onto Jaebum’s hand on his cheek. “Of course, who do you think I am?”

-

Jaebum didn’t cry, even when he was on the plane watching some sappy movie, even when Jinyoung couldn’t see him crying if he wanted to. It would’ve felt like a betrayal, knowing that Jinyoung is still dealing with other things on top of him leaving.

He has faith anyway, that seven years have built up to this point in their lives, that their relationship can withstand anything, even the 6000 miles of sea separating them, or wherever Jinyoung plans on going to.

 

Exploring the new city distracts him his first week. He gets a little bit of time until he officially starts work and Youngjae drags him to do touristy things such as seeing the Griffith Observatory and visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame which they both admit isn't nearly as cool as everyone pegs it to be. They eat at the trendiest restaurants in Downtown and Jaebum tries Mexican food for the first time, which he decides, is pretty damn good.

They adjust pretty easily. Los Angeles is a mix of many different cultures and they go to Koreatown whenever they miss home or want some comfort food.

Jaebum buys a book for improving his English, not that it's terrible or anything. (He spent a great deal of high school reciting lines from his favorite Leonardo Dicaprio films) But he’s sure most of the people he will be working with speak English, so he works hard on improving it and even considers taking an English class at a nearby community college.

But the initial excitement of being in a new city dies for a while when his work officially begins and Youngjae starts school. The new film set is bigger than he expected and the crew that occupies it has more people than the ones his previous internships had _combined_.

His new boss is very friendly but also expects highly of Jaebum (he tells him this on the first day). Jaebum is still tasked with building the cameras in the morning and taking them apart at the end of each shooting, but he also gets tasked with operating the clapperboard and filling in for the assistant cameras when they need a break. It’s tiring, but a lot more productive than his previous work, which he can appreciate.

As his first week passes by, he settles into the new routine. He and Jinyoung schedule video calls every other day during the mornings since that’s the only time their time zones work. It isn’t as difficult as he thought it’d be but he still counts down the days until he can see Jinyoung again.

His apartment with Youngjae is only slightly bigger than his old apartment back in Seoul. Jaebum decorates his room with the same posters and sets up his bed and desk similarly to his old bedroom. It’s not exactly the same as the one in Seoul, but it’s home, at least for a while.

 

It’s a friday evening when Jaebum is outside the door of his apartment with his arms full of groceries, knocking the door with his elbow for Youngjae to let him in.

“I don't have hands,” Jaebum yells through the door and grins sheepishly when a neighbor walks past him.

Jaebum considers breaking the door down when Youngjae finally opens the door for him with an apologetic look on his face.

“Sorry hyung, I couldn’t hear you,” Youngjae says, taking half of the groceries from Jaebum.

“I thought the neighbors were going to kill me,” Jaebum says as he enters the apartment and drops the groceries on the floor. He closes the door and furrows his eyebrows in confusion when he sees a _very_ familiar pair of shoes by the door.

“Uh...Youngjae? Do you have someone over?” Jaebum asks Youngjae, who is settling the groceries on the kitchen countertop.

Youngjae looks like he's about to topple over from excitement and Jaebum can't for the life of him figure out why until he hears an even  _more_ familiar voice clearing his throat from the hallway.

He snaps his head in the direction of the sound, blinking owlishly when he sees Jinyoung leaning against the wall, perfect hair, perfect face and all, staring at him with a smile worth a thousand words. 

"What—how?" Jaebum stammers, taking in the beautiful sight of his boyfriend who he hasn't seen in a month. 

He hears Youngjae shuffle behind him and grab his phone and keys. "I'm going to let you guys talk. If you need me I'll be with Yugyeom," Youngjae tells Jaebum, who can barely hear what he is saying. "It was nice to finally  meet you Jinyoung! See you later~" Youngjae laughs before closing the door on them.

Jaebum's eyes have never left Jinyoung, who still hasn't spoken a word and is just staring at him with a smile that says  _i got you again._

"You're here," Jaebum says in a matter-of-fact voice and Jinyoung nods. "In LA," He continues, and Jinyoung nods again, looking amused by his boyfriend's disbelief.

"Surprise?" Jinyoung finally speaks and Jaebum thinks, yes, surprise, like always. How he manages to do it, Jaebum will never find out.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Jaebum finally asks, still trying to process everything. 

Jinyoung taps his chin contemplatively, "Los Angeles is pretty big."

"It is," Jaebum confirms, and with startling clarity, he starts walking towards Jinyoung.

"So I realized...why not figure things out here?" Jinyoung says, smile getting bigger as Jaebum approaches closer.

"Really?" Jaebum asks. He can't hide the huge grin on his face either as he stops in front of Jinyoung and rests his hands on Jinyoung's hips, which fit perfectly under his grasp.

Jinyoung nods and circles his arms around Jaebum's neck. "Or I can finally get a job...my English _has_ always been better than yours."   
  
And Jaebum laughs because Jinyoung is better than him at a lot of things. Better at surprising him, better at encouraging him, better at knocking him off his feet, but Jaebum thinks as Jinyoung leans up to kiss him on the lips, that Jinyoung can have all of that and more.

That despite everything, if there is at least one thing that is constant in Jinyoung's life, Jaebum is just glad that it's him. 

**Author's Note:**

> forgot to add, brownie points for whoever can guess the movie jb describes!! (*hint* its one of jbs fav movies)


End file.
